Hi Jen and welcome to the forum. It wasn't that long ago that I felt just like you. I passed out when they gave me the diagnosis and told me to get my affairs in order. This phase is the worst and it will pass. I have been cancer free now for 2 years. Just became a VP for an international medical device company and life is exceeding my expectations. Cancer is NOT an automatic death sentence. Like Karen, I had chemo and IMRT radiation only and I am back to life not only normal but better than it was before. I have a new perspective that has enriched my life in countless ways. Don't freak out on the stats. Like has been already said - get thee to a comprehensive cancer center and don't short cut your treatment options. It will be a tough year or two but you CAN DO THIS! I also got meds for anxiety and those helped a great deal. Get some sleepers too - you need your strength for the fight. Develop a support network and be willing to allow people to gift you with their help. It's ok to be scared we all were. Read my survivor check in thread for some more positive reinforcement. We are here for you.