Jen...please do not give up before you start the fight,
My husband also was diagnosed as stage IV ,his tumor was 9cm ,pretty big. He found it whilst shaving one night and swears he never felt a thing the night before. You have the strength for this fight , three kids who really need you!
The road ahead won`t be easy but, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Your absolute terror at the moment is jumping out at me ..I wish I could help to reassure you.
Please keep in touch , if you wish private email any of us , we have all felt as you did at some time.
Take care
Marica