Hi Jen,
Please STOP and TAKE a breath. If you don't quit this hyperventilation, no sleep, elevated blood pressure routine you have gotten into, you won't even have to worry about stage IV cancer. You will be dead of a heart attack before your cancer doctors get to treat you. SLOW DOWN. Read this forum. The signatures of most participants contain their diagnosis and treatment and honest we are not all dead, even stage IV patients. Read the resource and treatment sections on the forum to get you informed so you can ask appropriate questions of the drs. Take someone with you to the appts and as my dr says, listen to what he has to say before bombarding him with questions. He has usually answered most of mine before I open my mouth.

I know you are suffering severe pain.I also don't like the fact this tumor is increasing in size. Can they accelerate your appts somehow.

Take care,
Eileen

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Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I