The real difficulty is that we are all unique. No matter how many trials or how much data is gathered, there will always be those the fall outside of the statistic confidence interval, assuming normalcy. I remember the nurse and pharmacist outside my infusion room arguing whether the last dose of Cisplatin would kill me or not. I remember the Otolaryngologist clearly telling me he would cure me or kill me. I remember my mask fitting so loosely after the cervical spline block was attached. I remember feeling the heat of the mask on my neck during the last week. I remember a strange smell somewhere in the top of my head that reminded me of bleach and how it turned to a burning flesh smell the last week of radiation. I remember all the docs post treatment that told me I was the only one to experience what I am. I remember as my breathing ability started declining the pulmonologist telling me I just needed to try harder to breathe. I remember the docs finally telling me what was really going on and nothing could be done to help me other than just waiting to die. I remember them telling me to medicate out when my legs stopped working last December. I remember riding 35 miles in the bike last Friday!

My doctors tell me often I was aggressively over treated. I was told to accept the treatment prematurely aged me by 30 years. I just say WHATEVER. If we just knew what factors we bring to the party when treatment plans are devised and how they might affect treatment...well this would be a walk in the park. We don't but if they could just find funding @ about $171/minute to research this I believe it would be huge not just for us but for breast cancer patients as well.