SLL,

The radiation may or may not have played tricks on your husband's brain, but it's a fairly safe assumption that having cancer played some pretty nasty tricks in and of itself. When you're going through extremely painful and debilitating treatments day in and day out, and focusing long and hard on survival, your brain reacts in ways that are much different from what you're used to in the normal daily routine. That's not to say that the brain stays that way permanently -- many of us here will tell you that our life after cancer has improved in a variety of ways, including mental outlook.

It sounds as though he's had good treatment (I also was treated at Dana Farber), and the doctors at DF certainly see enough head and neck cancer patients to give a realistic assessment of how he is doing. How is your husband's weight compared with before he started treatment? What kinds of things is he able to eat at this point? Nutrition is extremely important at this stage, but even with soft foods it's very common to have problems with choking and coughing. Hopefully you and he are getting regular suggestions from a hospital nutritionist to help with his eating needs.

Recovery from this illness is a long and often frustrating process. Do you have family/friends that can help in one way or another? Also, if you're not already doing this, you might want to get into a caregivers support group.

Cathy