Thank you all so much for you kind words. I just started seeing a therapist to help me deal with what is happening now and what is to come. 2 months ago Jim had a chest tube put in for a collapsed lung and then 2 weeks ago we found out there was heart damage from the cancer and his heart is releasing enzymes that only release if there is damage. Today he woke up with terrible shoulder pain which is the first sign that the lung is collapsing again. They said if that happens again he needs lung surgery that is going to "glue" the left outer lung to his chest wall to seal up the holes the cancer has made in his lungs. It is always something and is very hard to keep a smile on your face everyday. I envy you all so much that you were able to overcome this cancer, which we were told 2 years ago would stay local in the tonsil and he had a 90% chance of longterm survival. You sometimes scream, cry and wonder why did it happen to us. Jim is about to celebrate his 45 birthday and it will probably be his last one. Do you know how hard that is?? I am going to look at the section on caregivers. Im sure that will help me alot in addition to my therapist and group therapy that she is looking into for me. I am friends with a doctor who is looking into hospice for me when that time comes which im hoping will not be for quite awhile. I will update again and let you know how the next clinical trial he starts is working. They said they wont be able to save him but maybe prolong his life for a bit and the information they get from these trials will help cancer patients years down the road so at least his death will benefit fighting cancer in some form. That doesnt make this any easier but he is doing his part now for cancer research. I wish you all continued good health and pray for a cure for cancer so wonderful people like my Jim dont have to lose their lives at only 45 years old.