Seana,
your description of your reality and his being miles apart is exactly right. It is very hard to see things rationally when one is distressed, but I think you are actually doing a good job of it at this point. Best wishes and keep posting!
Maria

CG to husband - SCC Tonsil T1N2M0 HPV+ Never Smoker
First symptoms 7/2010, DX 12/2010
TX 40 IRMT (1.8 gy) + 10 Cetuximab
PET Scans 6/2011 + 3/2012 clear, 5 year physical exam clear; chest CT's clear of cancer. On thyroid pills. Life is good.