Hello my friends... I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of you writing in. Thank you all immensely for your kind words of encouragement. I had a long day at work and then errands and then an appointment tonite so I have just walked in the door. I have never seen anyone else who has had radical neck surgery. I think I may have seen an older man one time at a restaurant and like Michele said... I felt a bond with him for an instant. Also I have never been in any kind of support group or really spoken to anyone who has had even a similar kind of cancer until I found this forum. Even though I didn't have oral cancer, they people in this forum have embraced me as one of their own. The type of cancer I had is rare for a child and I certainly don't know of anyone else who had this type of surgery so young.

When I went through all this as a young child (it started at age 5), most of the time I didn't really know what was going on and my parents NEVER told me I had cancer. In fact, my mom didn't ever even tell me until I was in high school and I was asking for more details about what I had done. I'm not sure why, but it doesn't matter anymore. My teenage years were tough... in addition to the scars I have a paralyzed vocal cord so my voice has always been somewhat breathy (that has actually improved with time and I have had teflon injections). Like Michele said... I think because I had my cancer so young and have lived with the scars, etc. for so long that my feelings are far different than someone currently undergoing treatment or recently out of treatment. I've actually never thought about it that way. I don't think I've ever said to someone "I am a cancer survivor", and I think it stems from going thru it as a child.

Carol... your Thumper analogy is superb! I giggled when I read that and imagined myself saying that to someone while thumping my leg wildly! Thank you for brightening my day!

Kris... I wish I had known about the group get-together, maybe I could have come. I don't know how ready I am to have people looking at my neck, but I must admit I would be interested to see someone else's. My right neck is very sunken and the artery is clearly visible next to my trachea, in fact there is a deep depression between the two. They pretty much scraped everything out and even shaved my trachea. I had a little liposuction on the left side about 15 years ago but age takes it's toll and plus I'm overweight so I always look lopsided.

Michele... your letter really touched me. It's like you can feel what I feel... everything you said is right on the mark and perhaps has helped me see some things differently or more clearly. Thank you for your sensitive and caring words.

KirkGeorgia... Hi! Thanks for the welcome! I have often thought since I have looked this way for almost 34 years, and am soon to be 45 (Nov. 16!).... that I would have developed the maturity to deal with this. In some ways I have in that I can talk about it sometimes without crying, but in some ways it is worse than ever. I think I am a big baby frequently! LOL

Joanna... I work in a VERY small office (3 people) and we are all together 95% of the time. My boss is a sweet but totally socially inept man who has a shrew for a wife. Usually I can deal with his comments since I know he means well, but combined with the insensitivity of the waitress, I had just had enough yesterday. My husband would like me to confront my boss about this, but I have decided that it would do no good and may upset me further. For him, I will take your advise to picture him naked (an unappealing thought however LOL).

Karen... Thank you for sharing your experience with me. What an insensitive jerk to say such a thing to you!! I once had a new acquaintance (mother of my son's friend) come up to me at Best Buy to say hello (or so I thought) and instead she came up and said "I have been meaning to ask you what happened to your neck" REALLY LOUDLY... in the middle of a store for goodness sakes!! It was like an assault.

Well I guess that is enough for now... I did the math and WOW it has been almost 34 years since my last surgery.

~Susan~