Wow it's been a year and a half since I last posted to this forum. Quite a long time but my feelings are always close to the surface. Today at a restaurant, this waitress felt the need to question me about my neck and to point out that her sister had the same "chunk taken out of her neck" recently. And then she was asking me all these questions that I found highly intrusive. I was having lunch with my coworkers who know about my cancer, but I was embarrassed nonetheless. I do not know what to say to people who say things like this... I have even had people reach up to tip up my head so they could LOOK at my neck closer!!! Makes me feel like a frickin' freak show...

Please help with what to say to these rude people... I know they don't mean to be rude, but it hurts my feelings and I don't necessarily like to discuss my situation with strangers. I don't see my scars as a badge of courage or character marks, but I would like to. Just not sure how to accomplish that. You would think since I have been cancer-free for so long that I would have learned to deal with my appearance. That is true somewhat... but every now and then I encounter people like this waitress. Also my boss at work says extremely insensitive things like "Oh good thing you wear your hair long to cover up *gestures to neck*" I am sick of this... I am a person... intelligent... accomplished... and yet I cannot deal with this stuff. Why not say "Susan don't you look nice today" instead of "good thing you wear your hair long" SHEESHHHHHHHHHHHH. Dang I am sorry... I'm rambling and rambling

Susan... insecure, self-conscious...etc.