Hi Susan,
I'm 42, have 2 kids.
I, like many others, view the scars as battle scars. I am a cancer survivor and have been through a lot. I also talk funny because I have half a tongue.

I am glad to hear you are a long term cancer survivor!!

One thing that is different for you than for many of us is the young age at which you had your cancer. You have had a long time of living with this burden. Wow, what a tough thing for an 11 year old to go through! The teenage years as so difficult anyway, and for you it must have been tough. No wonder it continues to linger in your self-image.

I too stuggle with times when I feel low, yet know that I have much to be grateful and thankful for. Sometimes it feels selfish to feel sorry for myself when I am cancer-free and I know others are seriously battling cancer, or I look around the world at how worse off so many others are. Yet, the negative feelings are normal and acceptable. A counselor may be able to help. I also take an anti-depressant, which helps me to cope. And THIS forum is a terrific place!

Your boss is insensitive. Other comments or questions however, may be curiousity, or like the waitress - because it is uncommon, SHE may be interested because she sees someone else with a similar scar. I know the few times I have seen someone with similar scars, I feel a bond - even though its just a brief passing in an elevator or a fast food restuarant.

I think the answer "I am a cancer survivor" is a good one, and as to more questions (especially in settings like being with coworkers) a quiet reply of "I don't want to talk about it now" should be fine. You don't owe an explanation, but I do think many people are showing curiousity and sympathy. With their questions you can help to educate the public about this disease.

I know many peeople wonder why I speak funny. I feel as though I want to wear I pin or label saying that I had oral cancer. OCF has some pins, but they don't seem to apply because a dentist DIDN'T find my cancer. I had to pursue it.

Our weaknesses show we are human. We love the ones we are close to "warts, scars and all" - that's what makes us interesting.

Welcome to the neighborhood,
your friend,
michelle