Platinum Member (300+ posts) Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 476 | Hi Karen. I'm so sorry that your hubby is being so difficult. Everyone reacts different to treatment and a cancer diagnosis. Thank God my husband never took his fear, anger, pain or depression out on me. We have always had a very strong bond and I think dealing with major life issues such as a cancer diagnosis can either strengthen your relationship or fracture it. I have told many people that although this year has been one of the most difficult years of our life, it has also been filled with some of the most love-filled moments between John and I.
When John was a month out of treatment he literally couldn't talk or he would gag and throw up. He was on Zofran and Compazine for the nausea for over a month after treatment stopped. Is your husband on anti-nausea meds? This might be something to look into if he isn't. John would use a writing tablet and we "communicated" that way. His throat and mouth were much to sore to talk or eat anything. I don't have any experience with shrinks so I can offer any advice there. I personally think that most if not all cancer patients are somewhat depressed - who wouldn't be battling cancer. Sending you a hug and hoping your days get brighter.
Remember that you are his wife and not his mommy. He needs to take some responsibility for his own care.
Wanda (47) caregiver to husband John (56) age at diag.(2009) 1-13-09 diagnosed Stage IV BOT SCC (HPV+) 2-12-09 PEG placed, 7-6-09 removed Cisplatin 7 weeks, 7 weeks (35) IMRT 4-15-09 - treatment completed 8-09,12-09-CT Scans clear, 4-10,6-11-PET Scans clear 4-2013 - HBO (30 dives) tooth extraction 10-2019 - tooth extraction, HBO (10 dives) 11-2019 - Left lateral tongue SCC - Stage 2
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