Karen i cannot say that one word you have written sounds unfamiliar to me,and i am sure the same is true for many carers on this forum.The only part that is totally unfamiliar to me is the inclusion of a psychiatrist.The very idea of Rob ever going near a counsellor or a psychiatrist is unreal.I never thought that his behaviour after his treatment was anything but completely expected considering what he had been through,but it didnt make it any easier to bear.I survived for one reason only.The help and support of good friends here on the forum.He reduced me to tears of hurt and frustartaion so many times i lost count,until eventually i packed a bag and left for a while,but not once did anyone here chastise me ,they just kept up the support and advice on a daily basis.

Its a hard time,probably the worst time of the whole treatment really,so hard to understand.Rob slept 18 hours a day,didnt speak,wouldn't eat,wouldn't see anyone,got irritated by everything i did,and resentful when i insisted on medication or tube feeds,but if anyone did manage to get through the front door to see him,he lit up like a candle and insisted he was fine.

It passed in time as most things do and when things were really bad he was exemplory.Its fear and pain and the unknown.some men really step up to the plate,but some don't fare so well.Every one is different with different challenges to face and overcome so please dont have him committed just yet lol,in a few weeks you probably wont reccognise him.


Liz in the UK

Husband Robin aged 44 years Dx 8th Dec 2006 poorly differentiated SCC tongue with met to neck T1N2cM0 Surgery and Radiation.Finished TX April 2007
Recurrence June/07 died July 29th/07.

Never take your eye off the ball, it may just smack you in the mouth.