Karen,
Yes, easier said than done to "do something for yourself." What I did find was that everything seemed to be more of a mountain when I was really tired and sleep deprived. Late at night for sure, I would find myself feeling negative and overwhelmed. Once I had a good night's sleep, I seemed to feel much more positive and able to handle what came at me.
So, while you might not be able to go to the spa or shopping, you can work at getting decent sleep so your body and mind have the ability to take on this hard caregiver role.
RE: the food pump. Our friend ChristineB has some older posts on how she used the pump to conquer her problems with the supplements. She is currently recoving from surgery(s) but you might do a search of her older posts for some suggestions.
Deb