My mother is 91 and the rest of the family said, "Oh, don't tell her anything until later." I disagreed. Besides the obvious problem that she is a technophile and reads my public blog, I've found that lack of accurate information tends to make imaginations run wild. So I told her that I will not withhold medical information from her, and I haven't. As soon as I have new information from tests or doctors, I pass it along in a "matter of fact" tone. I don't let her see how worried I am, and I don't tell her all the in-depth details I find through my own research. She appreciates being "the first to know." This seems to work well for us but I realize everyone is different. The others have given you good advice to let them be involved and helpful. Those who care about you need to feel useful instead of powerless. Mom isn't in a position to help me physically but I do let her buy me lunch :-).