I am afraid I haven't been able to get back to reading posts, have been busy with paper work to file for disability. If you don't mind a couple of blind questions before I have all your stories.

Right now, Pam is aware that her cancer is incurable. She has never asked the question, how long do I have and I have never brought it up in front of her. Now that I know our time could be short, is it something that I need to bring up to her? I did call our church today and set up an appointment with our pastor next week to try to figure out what I should do. Do I disclose this fact to anyone, Pam, our kids, our extended family? Do I wait until her health starts to decline before disclosing anything?

I was wondering about your experiences, did you find out a time frame before the person with the cancer? When or did you share it with your family? We have three sons, 22, 19 & 14. My initial thought is that it was something that I would need to tell Pam, and share with our kids and families. But the more I think about it, I think Pam knowing that it could be a short period is a burden she doesn't need to carry. She knows that it is incurable. I can try to persuade her to do the things she wants to do and live every day to its fullest. Would it be selfish to keep this to myself, not allowing our kids and families in on this fact until sometime down the road?

Any suggestions or input on how you would or have handled would be appreciated.