Yep, all of those fears are valid. But eventually you find that it is just too much work to walk around scared. I could get killed by anything at any time -- worrying about it is pointless

Sitting here at work, we just watched President Obama's motorcade drive by (he is speaking at Police Academy graduation about 6 blocks away), and as often as I have seen it, I am always impressed by the magnitude of the security. Then I thought, "What must it be like to have to live every moment with massive security?" In many ways, our fear of recurrence, side effects, etc. has the same "imprisoning effect".

No "wrong" feeling or fears. We all have them and deal with them as our own circumstances and personalities dictate. That's what makes this group of people really special.

Hang in there!!