Tom- Hang in there. This will get a little easier as you get used to your "new normal". I learned this term from this website and didn't really understand it but believe me, you will. My husband had reconstruction using his leg and the healing process took quite awhile but did heal beautifully. As for the stage changes, we knew right away that Neil was at stage 4 because of the size of his tumor. Sometimes it really is hard to tell how far the disease has spread until they actually get in there.

Do you have anyone that could help you out? This is terribly hard for caregivers especially if you are alone. I am fortunate enough to have only been working part time until my husband's surgery. The lack of pay from that didn't make a difference in our finances but it must be weighing on your mind if you are the only one working right now. I know people on this board who have gotten help from the American Cancer Society-maybe you could give them a call.

All the best,
Sue