Tom.....You will be okay. It is not easy. When my husband was diagnosed with tongue cancer feb 08, it seemed like I was paralyzed for a few months and all I did was cry. I only talked to my family and was basically in seclusion. That's how I dealt with it at first. Try to remain positive no matter how difficult it seems. I have adjusted to my "new normal" going to work for my son in his new business. (I naturally can take off when needed) Do you have family support ? I have two sisters who grocery shop for me, run errands, clean my house just to mention a few. I know all situations are different. Some parts of your life must return to normal. Sometimes I feel guilty walking out the door as Jim is sitting there, as it appears that I am going about life as normal. Many times I've cried all the way to work, then I am okay when I get there. Do whatever you have to do without GUILT, please ! If you need to get back to work, then it's in the best interest to do so for yourself and your wife. Life still goes on no matter what we are dealing with. Jim is finally starting to get some water down his throat since surgery in March. We went to and ENT dr. who specializes in oral cancer patients who can't swallow. He's been on a peg since March. Hang in there buddie. We are all here for you. Thank god for this board---we are all in the same boat one way or the other.........Claudia