On June 13th, my wife had a biopsy that on June 20th, came back malignant. We were referred to an ENT clinic and at a consult on July 2nd, were told that we were lucky, caught this at an early stage (stage I) and could be treated with surgery to remove the tumor and using a skin graf to cover the tongue. They ran a few tests including a CT scan. At an appointment on July 7th, we found out the CT scan came back showing the tumor was larger than thought and would need more extensive surgery. Now at Stage II, surgery performed July 31st to remove the tumor (2.5cm x 1cm), using a fore arm flap for reconstruction and a bilateral neck dissection. When the pathology reports came back, it showed a total of three lymph nodes(2 on one side and one on the other) were positive for cancer. At our surgery follow up today, I asked if she was still a Stage II and was told that with the lymph nodes positive on both sides of the neck that it would be considered "early" Stage IV (T2N2C). Now I have had great respect for the surgeon, excellent credentials and head of the department but each time we have had this Stage move, it has been devastating. We are preparing now for radiation and chemo to start in three weeks. I was wondering if this was typical of others diagnosis where over 6 or 7 weeks the diagnosis keeps changing or if your original diagnosis was more accurate?

On a slightly different note, can anyone tell me that this gets easier. We are 3 weeks from the surgery, she has been home for 11 days and feel that I am running on empty. We are having a little problem with the healing of the arm and neck causing dressing changes 4 times a day. As a caregiver, how long was it before you were able to return to work? I know it sounds terrible to think about finances while your wife is battling for her life but...

Thanks for any input from your experience.