Lily

Caretakers have a tough road along with the patient on this disease. When I was first diagnosed my husband and I cried together but he told me I had to make the decisions on what I wanted to do. We did discuss doing the radiation with the chemo and that we needed help. My mom was called and she took 3 months of work to help take care of me.

She was there all the time and we had some trying times my mom and I. (Now for some reason she is not talking to me but my sister insists it is not me it is just her.) She didn't agree with the surgery and begged me not to do it. She made a lot of decisions on my care during the treatment. She left after the radiation and chemo treatments ended. I was left at home by myself to deal with what I was going through.

My husband lost my help during my tratment time running our business and was putting in long hours. He sometimes wouldn't come home because he had so much to do. When I went to the doctors after my mom left he would go with me and the topic of having surgery would come up with the doctors. They didn't really pressure they just felt that I needed to fight it with all I had.

I finally told my husband that we really needed to discuss the surgery together. When we got married we became one and that we should make major decisons together. He agreed and we both decided that it would be best to have surgery. It was scary and upsetting. We got everything in order or wills and everything else. This is something that we needed to do anyway and it forced us to get it done.

We have been through a lot with each other and family members through our marraige and we know that we will be there for each other.

It sounds like you will be there for him and getting prepared for what lies ahead. Remember this forum as things get tough as I read other caretakers posts that it is not easy.

Take care and you and your husband are in my prayers
Love
Terry