Hi Debbie:

Welcome to OCF and the virtual family of good people you will find here to help you through this experience. I am not sure there is a magic answer to your question about how to cope with new problems and/or the fear of them. I would say, at the risk of sounding trite, that time does help lessen the panicked frenzy of each new day when the time of diagnosis and treatment seems like utter chaos. I still become a wreck when my fiance, Dave (one year out from surgery and radiation for tonsil cancer) complains of anything or has a follow-up appointment. My way of coping sometimes is to acknowledge (with some humor and alot of truth)that "Kim has gone ballistic yet again" then breathing a huge sigh of relief when all is okay. The reality is that it is okay to be fearful but when fear rules your existence, it is time to give it a gentle nudge over to the side. It is okay to be vigilant and do regular follow-up and with that comes trepidation. For me, striking the balance between what is real and what is my crazy anxiety is the challenge. Keep also in mind that cancer is a great equalizer of previously young healthy people and you are also grappling with being thrown head first (no pun intended) into a huge vat of your husband's (and you rown) vulnerability and mortality. Keep breathing...we'll hold the paper bag today.

Kim