Welcome, Debbie, from a fellow caregiver, 5 years now. I feel totally alone with the life/death issue also, even though my spirituality has gotten through 6 surgerys and now a tumor in the sinus. Personally, I have never gotton over the fear and anxiety, every little symptom scares me...........So, you aren`t alone in all this, there`s a whole bunch of us here who just try to take one day, or one hour at a time. You`ll get a lot of support here.........Dee