Hello All,

I am getting more depressed every day. I upped my anti-depressant pills from 30mg to 45 mg but it hasn't helped. I feel like giving up. The sooner this bastard of a diaease is done with me the better.
Am now skipping eating anything two or three days a week. Feeling kind of dizzy at times. Lost 3 lbs. each of the last two weeks. Lots of tension in the family. Everyone telling me to continue the chemo, Even though it can't cure me. Feeling kind of numb. Really sick and tired of the whole scene.
When I do eat I can tell I can't open my mouth as far as I used to. Very hard to swallow anything solid. Am sick and tired of drinking carnation instant milk for my meals. I seem to not care anymore. All the bad news on the board doesn't help. I feel helpless to what's happenening to me. Lots of anger over this.
I want to get this under control before Vegas. I sure wouldn't be much fun to be around if this continues. My resolve is at it's lowest point.
Nothing to look forward to except a slow death.
At this point much to slow for me. I don't want to drag anyone down but it's the worst i've felt since this whole thing started.

Dan