For those of you unaware, AMK is Kim's sister. Kim posted a few weeks back before this latest reoccurance. If you revisit her post, it will give you further details into her situation leading up to now.

AMK - It sounds to me that Kim is terrified of Chemo. She's been through hell and back, and she probably thinks chemo is worse than everything combined.

I opted out of chemo b/c the thought scared me to no end. I had visions of sickly little children hoping to see Fenway Park. Then I went into a Support Group where four young woman, like myself, WERE going through chemo (coincidentally all for breast cancer). After watching them each week, I realized it WAS something I could do. No, it's not fun, but it's also not unbearable.

Is she home from the hospital yet? Perhaps a social worker can visit her room and talk to her. Not try to convince her to do something different, but give her a chance to voice her thoughts and feelings out loud (or typed/written if she cannot talk yet). She can also return to the hospital and talk to them in their private conference rooms.

Another option is meeting/talking face-to-face with someone whose options/chances were little w/o chemo. Your doctors s/b able to find those people. There are individuals on this board that undoubtedly live nearby, have had chemo, and would be willing to speak with Kim.

Because of the major surgeries she went through, she may feel there's not quality of life, even if she did live. Perhaps this isn't something she's realized herself yet. Again, your doctors should be able to find someone that went through major surgeries and are quite happy with their new normal. And again, someone on this board may be willing to volunteer.

With everyone trying to talk her out of her decision, she may subconsciously be trying to rebell against it all. Perhaps by talking to her, getting her to start exploring her true reasons for giving up, she may change her mind.

From what I recall, she has not had radiation to her neck. As Cathy mentioned, this should still be an option to her. I can give you the names/number of Boston head/neck specialists and both Dana Farber and Mass General. Perhaps a phone conversation with someone there can provide you with additional insights and suggestions.

AMK, I would glady talk to her over the phone, even if she's just listening and cannot speak. Or if you have other suggestions, I am entirely willing to participate in them (as I'm sure most board members here would too).

Please keep us posted, we're a very caring bunch and truly want to help Kim however possible.

Sabrina