Thank you all. Kim has lost faith in her doctors. She has been on the verge of hope, only to be knocked down again because her doctor did not listen to her about the pain she was experiencing and made a mistake - not diagnosing quickly enough and the cancer grew.

She is being treated at UPMC. It is the closest cancer facility to us. Cleveland might end up being an option, but that's still 2 hours away - a great distance when she has appointments every week.

We are not sure of the outcome of her situation. She is at home, but very tired and physically in pain. She is miserable and depressed. I am still angry that she was never given anything for depression. I think she would like to die and rid herself of all the pain and misery, but I don't know if I can handle losing her. I wish I could find some way to instill some hope into her. I don't know how though. It's very hard to see her like this, especially since she is one of the toughest people I know.

As far as her quality of life, she feels as if she has none. She commmunicates by dry erase board. She cannot eat or even breathe. The doctors don't know if she'll be able to talk again. For a 23 year old who is just starting out from college, what kind of life is that for her?

I think that she feels punished - that she is being punished with cancer for doing something wrong. I think she was chosen by God because he felt she was strong enough to beat it.

Tomorrow she has an appointment with a chemo doctor to discuss her options. I don't think she wants to do chemo (not that anyone wants to go through it). I think her decision will be to do nothing, which won't give her much time with us. I am just hoping that tomorrow the doctor can instill some optimism and hope in her. Reassure her that although it won't be easy, she can still beat this and recover - possibly eat, breathe, and talk again.


Thank you again for all of your support. I will update about the appointment. Keep Kim in your prayers as you are all in mine.