Hey this is interesting to me. These are subjects I would not dared to discuss before cancer.

gnelson, I appreciate your comment because we all interpret these feelings differently. I agree with your suggestion that you see "anger" in a different context. (perfectly OK) there are many emotions and the borders between are not always sharply defined. On top of that, the definition of one feeling has perspective only because of a relationship to it's opposite. In other words, if you never knew love how would you define hate?

What prompted my first post in this thread, was Rosie's comment in a different post about feeling anger even towards other survivors because they survive! THINKING that is fairly understandable given what happened to Heather. SAYING that in the midst of us in my opinion took a lot of courage and struck me. It caused me to think out loud: I don't have anger about this disease or what has happened to me. Why do others have much anger and should we talk about it so to help them heal?

Rosie, I have to pause here and tell you that Heather's last days caused me a great deal of pain, profound feelings that I am probably not over yet. If you look back at that time here at OCF, you will see I didn't hardly write a thing. I couldn't find a voice or words. So when I use your name in my example above, please believe it is not a judgement at all.

My interest here is in exploring feelings and to perhaps demonstrate to others that their own range of feelings are "normal". (Believe me no one would have heard me say "explore feelings" before 3 years ago!) My comments about anger, are so that folks might see a diferent path to more positive thinking. Anger seems to be a common emotion in serious disease, I wonder why everyone doesn't have it? I am happy and really intrigued by the other posts in this thread too. It shows deep thinking. I happen to believe that deep thinking is a very good thing.