Dragon...I have written to you privately, but I wanted to add my comments to my fellow Louisiana girl......I have sons who have been sick with worry over me, but they are older and do not live in my city. Your mom is a lucky lady. And I hope that you will see this difficult time as a blessing...a time that will bond you and your mom together in a way that nothing else could do. You will see her in a much more vulnerable way...and you will be called upon to help in ways that your friends are not privileged to serve their mothers. And this intimacy IS a privilege. I hope that you both will see it this way, and that your mother will NOT (Mom, are you listening to me???) pretend to be doing better than she is just to protect you. I hope that she will trust this lovely, loving, mature daughter that she has raised to be strong enough to see her at her weakest moments. It will make you stronger, and will make you a better person, and a better mother when it is your turn.

Laugh about the things that you can't change.....I know all about talking funny, and having water and coke and ice cream...come out my nose...It's what we call "the new normal," and we can't fake it forever. We have to have a safe place where we can be ourselves and not have to hide the changes in our bodies. Don't let these changes change WHO you or your mother are, and don't let them come between you.....Make sure that you are open about them, and even that you can laugh about them (maybe through your tears at times.).....and they will bring you closer. You both have to have a safe place where you can be open and be yourselves. Home, together, should be that place. You might have to be the one who makes that happen.

There are blessings here. Sometimes we have to look really hard to find them.

You see...I feel blessed that I have found the two of you, and I am more blessed than most here, because before long, we WILL get together. You live only minutes from my son, and we girls can easily meet either in Madisonville or in Baton Rouge, which is about halfway between our homes.

You're a neat girl. I wish my sons were just a little younger!

Colleen--T-2N0M0 SCC dx'd 12/28/05...Hemi-maxillectomy, partial palatectomy, neck dissection 1/4/06....clear margins, neg. nodes....no radiation, no chemo....Cancer-free at 4 years!