ak how much help are you getting yourself? Is this 3am business common? We all have bad days, dark days, when its harder than usual, but you shouldn't be taking this all on yourself.

Everyone is saying "stay positive" which is true, but it has its limits. I would consider seeing your doctor if you haven't already. I saw 4 psychs this year. One to help cope with the diagnosis, one to cope with the treatment, one to cope with the recovery, and one to help the transition back to work. Add to that a combination of sleeping and anti-depressant meds. I'm not saying you need all that, but thats what I needed. All that was in addition to the physical stuff, the pain meds etc.

I'm sure I've mentioned this to you before, because I say it to all the caregivers. Your brother needs you happy and healthy, so you're in a good position to support him. Some caregivers (like Mrs OzMojo) grind themselves to exhaustion which does us no good at all. Eventually I was able to get her to see her doctor, get her blood pressure checked and all that.

If you haven't already, please see your doctor and take care of yourself.