To add a few comments.
As far as shrinkage, my level II lymph node, which had the similar ear pain, shrunk like Brian PK, over the course of weeks, but mine never completely for a while, but radiation continues to work for several weeks after compltetion, so my RO waited 5 months to do a PET/CT post treatment, and node was necrotic tissue by FNAB.
As far as you would think you're not as tough enough, I can understand that plenty, maybe being similar to you where people came to me for help most my life, and now could not. I was the one to respond, not run away, when others did, though often I wish I could lol, and chemo knocked me out in the 1st round was a wow moment lol.
One thing I remember my doctor telling me years later, "It doesn't matter what happened or may happen that matters, but what mattered is that you are strong enough to pull through that counted."
I also like a quote I often use, "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, what matters is that you put up a good fight!"