Hi, and welcome to the family. The first thing you are going to hear is that everyone is different. I am a lot like you, I want to know the answer to everything. But, others are like your husband. We deal with both every day. You can get what you want/need here and so can he.

My cancer is similar to your husbands, left side tonsil, SCC with HPV-16, but no lymph node involvement. For me the tumor board decided radiation only, no chemo. Some here think I should also be getting chemo, but in the end you have to decide if you trust your doctors.

You need to find out more about the planned surgery. I thought they were going to remove all my cancer, but that is a long, time consuming surgery, my doctor said can be up to 11 hours under anesthesia. I was only under for 1 hour, so mine ended up being a tonsilectomy, but not tumor removal all the way to clear margins. That's why I am getting radiation. So, you need to find out exactly what they plan to do for your husband. Be persistent, ask and re-ask until you understand, they work for you, not the other way around. He will be bummed if he thinks surgery is going to be all he needs, only to find out, no it's rads and or chemo too. You will be getting a lot of info so be prepared to write down the answers so you can keep them straight later, or take a pocket tape recorder with you to doctor meetings. Be prepared to ask the docs nicely if you can record the meeting.

Now as for the surgeon saying your husband will get less rads and maybe more chemo; I think I would be more inclined to believe what the RO or MO say about rads and chemo rather than what the surgeon says. We all want to believe it when we hear good news, but then we sometimes get a little wake up call when another specialty says something different; such was my case.

Start reading here both the website and the forum, you have a lot of boning up to do quickly. All the info is here. Get yourself a spiral notebook and as you read, write down questions to ask the docs. Don't try to remember what you want to ask, being with your husband and taking care of his needs will interfere with your remembering what you want to ask.

I could go on and on, but I've given you enough to do already. Others will I'm sure have more to add.

Again, welcome to the family; it's a big one and very good at supporting members. They have helped me a LOT.

Tony


Tony, 69, non-smoker, aerobatics pilot, bridge player/teacher, avid dancer (ballroom, latin, swing, country)

09/13 SCC, HPV 16, tonsillectomy, T2N0.
11/13 start rads, no chemo
12/13 taste gone, dry mouth,
02/14 hair slowly returning
05/14 taste the same, dry sinuses, irrigation helps.
01/15 food taste about 60% returned, dry sinuses are worse in winter.
12/20 no more sinus problems, taste pretty good