Hi everyone -

My husband was diagnosed with tonsil cancer on 11/4. Probably HPV but they are reexamining the slides. PET scan shows the cancer is only in his right tonsil and 4 lymph nodes on the same side of his neck. Met with RO and MO prior to PET scan and both said intensive rad with chemo. Treatment bad, prognosis good.

Met with surgeon after PET scan and he says let's start robotic surgery and neck dissection. At the same time. Does that sound right?

Then the surgeon says my husband will probably get less rad and maybe chemo. But looking at this board, it seems like that's a given.

I feel like we've been given so little information and already he's scheduled for surgery in December. They haven't even told us a stage. Is that normal?

My husband's so happy they can get it with surgery instead of intensive radiation and chemotherapy. But I really feel like that's naive - he's still going to have a really tough road to travel, right?

I don't want to bring him down - I want him to stay positive. He's not reading these boards because everyone's different and he doesn't want to dwell on what might be - his feeling is "just deal with it as it happens." I get that (even though it is SO not how I am). But AARGH! I want to meet with the RO, MO and surgeon all over again just to confirm the stage, understand why the neck dissection is the same day, and find out what follow up treatment will be if the tumor is removed (a) with clear margins or (b) without clear margins.

We are going to one of the top cancer centers in the country - the same one that cured him of another cancer 20 years ago. He wants to trust them. I need more information.

Am I being too obsessive?