Hey Bart
Cheers for the boost. I wore a uniform in teens and twenties in good ole days of the cold war where the UK only had a problem in Northern Ireland, no less dangerous when boots are on the street than anywhere else. Showing my age now...it was the eighties.

Strange but after a heartbeat moment of shock when told 'cancer' I was shooting questions about my enemy at a fully automatic rate the poor ole consultant was speechless.. probably the wrong questions and not the 'promise I will live types' thank god'. The hackles went up and I have since never felt so aware since I was 20. My view is, learn all you can, learn to play each 1% chance you can I your favour...unlike the military we don't get training and preparation for this battle and really do have rely on others but dealing with what I know and can influence and preparing to make that you can work as best it can in your favour, even if only by an extra 1% is worth the head space.

By BTDT do you refer to the been there, done it, got the t shirt? I have a friend in US who happened to have a school friend who is a Marine staying, hi shouted up in the background of a Skype call 'buck up, suck it up, kick its ass, win the bragging right for xmas'..that would be lame were it not from a Marine but I know that it was a heartfelt encouragement from a stranger put in the language of one who has walked a hard road.

Similar to you, I have seen guys hurt. A book I read called Walking Tall, by a guy called Simon Weston, is worth a trip to Amazon. Simon Wilson was a young Gaurdsman caught on a bombed troop ship in the Falklands War and horrendously burnt escaping as he passed friends shooting themselves as they burned. His journey was featured over years on TV, I watched the initial report a year before I got into uniform. This book should be a read for anyone facing a hard time, will make you laugh, cry and admire his amazing courage. When my life turns tough, for decades, I just reach for this book. Sure-fire cure for self pity and so uplifting.

My view, I feel aggressive in the extreme towards this disease and the assault on the body by poisons (they are helping) but if it is to be bad news now or latter my loved ones will see me fight like a tiger and go down like a king and be remembered always for strength and optimism and humour rather than hurt them by them seeing my fear and tears which I have. On my feet or on my knees, if I have no choice then be it my feet and one hell of a fight.

All the best.