Deb, welcome to the site. Sorry you had to find us. One of the most important things my wife did for me during the first part of our cancer journey was she did all of the research on this disease. I was not interested in finding out what was going to happen and then anticipating all of the pain, loss of function, different outcomes, etc. I knew I could deal with whatever happened as it came up, but I didn't want to have to anticipate what was going to happen for days, weeks, months. I didn't start reading this forum until my tonsilectomy, rad/chemo treatments were over and all I had to anticipate was the radical neck dissection to remove the lymph nodes. I knew what surgery was all about so I wasn't disturbed about what I would learn if I read about it on this forum.

The above applies to the early part of this trip. During treatment, she tolerated my bad humor, helped me in any way she could, smacked me when I needed it, and kept me on the course. One year later and I look back on the treatment aspects of this disease and already the memories of the discomfort are fading and our life has been much enriched by fighting this disease together and, so far, winning the battle.

So hang in there, it is a difficult ride, but one you can both get through. It is extremely important to be treated at a comprehensive cancer center as they have weapons non-specialists haven't even heard of yet. So please go to a major cancer center. I traveled 60 miles one way every day for 7 weeks to get my rad done at a major cancer center, so it can be done and the outcome is a much higher probability of success where the experts are. God bless.