Deb,
Before running off to surgery, talk to more than one doctor. The current protocol is for radiation and chemotherapy before cutting. Our ENT gave us an extensive education on the numbers and survival rates and it makes sense. At least take the time to look into it before you submit to the knife.
Follow the advice of going to a MAJOR CANCER CENTER!!!
I say this very strongly because there is an enormous difference between doctors who come across cancer occasionally and those who spend their lives in the thick of it. Explore every option. While these cancers are rapid growing they are also very treatable. Double edged sword if you will.
The most important role you play in this is to always remember that the patient has selective hearing. You cannot. Listen, hear, learn. Do everything you can to know as much as you can. Nothing hurts a caregiver worse than knowing their own ignorance allowed their loved one to suffer unnecessary pains.
Some doctors are surgeons first and practitioners second which basically means they make their money and reputation cutting people open. I do not say this as a negative comment just so you can understand that every doctor has an approach that works for them and you have to find the doctor whose approach works best for your husband.
I had to threaten my husband with divorce just to get him to get a second opinion. Now he tells everyone we know how I saved his life. I would never call it that but it was just necessary to make sure that we knew what we were dealing with and how to deal with it and then to make sure that we weren't in such a panic and hurry that we rushed into a treatment that wasn't ideal for him.
This road is long and hard. I hear that it gets better and I hope they are right. Where we are now is devestating to both of us. But the survivors here keep reminding me that there is sunshine on the horizon. Every morning I wake and I look for it. Haven't seen it yet but I am still hoping.
Remember that even those who seem to have all of the answers still ask questions.
Keep your chin up. Stay strong. Walk briskly but don't run or you might pass something important on the way.
As I was told when I arrived here.... Welcome to the club that no one ever wants to join. Yet we are all forever grateful we are here.
Cindy
