Gina, we've all been where you are, either as patient or caregiver. Keeping loved ones and friends informed is tricky. For me, in the early days, I simply couldn't talk about it without crying, not very effective. Later on, every resource we had (time and energy) was needed to make it through treatment. We were fortunate to have a survivor in our community urge us to set up a Caringbridge account very early on, and it proved to be a godsend. Some things to consider:

1. Privacy: My husband is still very much in the active phase of his career, he did not want just anyone (potential future employers) have access to the most personal details of his fight with cancer. It was a pain in the butt, but he asked that the account be set up with the highest level of security, which meant that anyone who would have access, we had to put in their email address, then invite them. Doesn't sound like much, but it was a pain at first. Once set up, very easy.

2. Site Author: I have felt very strongly all along that this is not my story to tell, but his. He has been the sole author on the site. It's been very theraputic for my husband, plus it's given me a very valuable window into his thinking through the worst of treatment. Several times, I saw him post things that I knew weren't accurate...in the thick of treatment, he just didn't process what the docs were telling him. But for the caringbridge journal, I'm not sure how I would have known some things he mistakenly believed. We got in the habit of him writing his journal entry, then me checking for accuracy (not content or style) before he posted.

3. Giving others a chance to help: We had a dear friend who took on the task early on of being the go-to person for getting hundreds of folks emails processed so they had access to the site, something I could not have managed in the whirlwind that was dx and beginning tx. Also, one of the great things about Caringbridge, there is a guestbook where loved ones can leave words of encouragement. Even now, 7 months into remission, we still get supportive messages from friends, means a lot to both of us. Our friends knew the last thing we wanted was every time we saw them to get "puppy dog eyes" and "how are you feeling". With the site, we feel the love, but still get to have normal conversations with our loved ones. For what it's worth, a number of our friends also wanted to do something, besides meals...it was easy for them to make a donation to Caringbridge, in Vince's honor...to keep a good thing going. Also, there were several times we had acute needs (i.e. ride for a child), Caringbridge gave us a ready made network of folks who were tuned in, wanting to help...we were able to quickly reach out and access that help.

For us, through the worst, Caringbridge was a real lifeline...still is as issues come up.

Best of luck to you and your family as you find your way through this maze, Ana