All,

This is kind of a venting post, so no need to reply unless you have advice. Sometimes it helps to just vent to those that may be in the same position and can understand better than outsiders!

I'm in the very early stages of my diagnosis and treatment and have told only close family and friends. But, I'm starting to get a little fed up as they keep asking me questions that I often don't have the answers to. It's hard enough for me to wrap my head around it, and it frustrates me when I don't have the answers but keep getting the same questions.

I spent the last week reading forums, articles, etc. to come up with a list 5 pages long of questions for my doctor. After reviewing the list today with him, he wasn't able to address half of them. I haven't had my surgery yet, so many of his answers were "it depends". Do I need a skin graft? Nose feeding tube? When can the neck dissection bag(s) be removed? All will be told after surgery.

So, don't get me wrong. I am VERY lucky to have so many people that care about me and want to check in with me. But, the questions and constant phone calls are driving me nuts.

If I tell someone I have an appointment with my doctor at 2pm, my phone rings off the hook starting at 2:15 (in most cases where I'm still waiting for the doctor).

And my husband's family is bugging him constantly as well. If I say I don't know the answer to a question, they ask me what the doctor thinks. The doctor is not really into speculation. So, then they want to know what I think he thinks. And, I honestly don't know.

Also - the question I hate the most is "how did you get it". I'm only 35, and I do have a history of smoking. Many do. I am also HPV 16 positive, which has caused me cervical cancer scares before. The doctors are not entirely sure what the root cause is, and quite frankly, unless it's relevant to my treatment, it doesn't really matter. I quit smoking and what's in the past is in the past - not worth dwelling on it. It would not be productive for me to blame myself or beat myself up.

Anyhow, if you have gotten this far, thanks for listening. :-)
If you have been in a similar position and have any advice on how to handle obnoxiously nosy friends/family, I'd appreciate it.

Disclaimer - I DO love my friends and family to death and know they mean well...this is just their way of expressing concern and dealing with it themselves. I don't blame anyone. I just find it overwhelming and extremely frustrating at times.

Thanks,
Gina