Have you considered making one person the "go to" person?

In our situation, Alex was in charge of getting through treatment and I was in charge of logistics and PR. About once a week when he was well enough, I took Alex to the pub to catch up with his "scaley mates" albeit for 10 minutes. They greeted him as if he was just coming in for a beer after work (boys - they crack me up ) but the second Alex left the room, the questions were asked and answered without embellishment. The conversation would start with "Alex isn't dying this week - what else do you want to know?" It addressed the elephant in the room and gave them permission to ask anything of me but nothing of Alex.

I also sent regular emails to one person in each of our social circles and asked them to share the information rather than ask/bother Alex who was too busy fighting cancer to answer their questions. It also took pressure off me as I wasn't fielding too many phone calls or emails.

I would also be inclined to be fairly blunt with the people who are ringing and checking on you and let them know that you have a lot going on and you will update them when you are able (physically and emotionally). I had my mother ringing me every night and eventually I had to ask her to stop and make it once a week. Same with Alex's Mum - the phone call was a planned Saturday morning update which was NOT the day of treatments. Each Mum, then took responsibility to tell the rest of the family leaving Alex to deal with the business of getting well.