Jessica, I am sorry things are starting out so rough on you. Everyone before me has provided such excellent advice that I really can't offer much more other than my own story of how I coped with this difficult treatment. I'm four years post treatment and treatment consisted of 64 doses of radiation and 7 weeks chemo. Everything was a struggle for me, particularly the first four weeks, and I won't give you details, but whatever could go wrong, did. I hated radiation, my fear was irrational as I was usually comfortable under the mask, but in between treatments I fretted about the next one. In other words, I was a mess. But I always kept my thoughts on the end game. No matter how bad I felt, I drank as much as possible, and had a small amount of yogurt just to keep in practice of eating. I couldn't speak after a few weeks so signed up for "Caring Bridge" so I could communicate my thoughts to family and friends. This was very therapeutic and I looked forward to it at the end of every day. I paid particular attention to the other cancer patients and found their strength very motivating. But every day was tough. I remember reaching treatment 54 and the dr. saying to me, "you're almost there, this will be no problem" and I thought, "you have no idea, if I only had one more treatment, it would be to much". And then suddenly, treatments were over, and the healing began. I hated the feeding tube as much as radiation treatments and used that as my motivation to get down as much food as possible, as quickly as possible, so I could get the tube removed. About two months out, the nutritionist gave me a recipe for a high calorie smoothie and it tasted like crap, but I knew I had to get this down to get the tube out. Every day I had a contest to drink this smoothie faster then the day before. Slowly, my body started to rebound which was motivating in itself. About 14 months after the last treatment, I ran a marathon. Take it one day at a time Jessica, little steps over time add up to big gains. You are a tough cookie to begin with, it won't be easy, but your toughness will be a huge asset getting you thru this.