Steve, I understand your dilemma very well. Back in 2009 I faced something similar when my cancer came back for the 3rd time in 3 years. My decision to go thru with the surgery came after listening to several members of this forum. I was very close to not doing anything which would have had me die a horribly painful death. I had been feeling great, went on a 25 mile bike ride with my son and was walking around with Stage IV SCC in my jaw. I hesitated to get my jaw removed thinking if I would die anyway it would be easier on my children to live what time I had left with them since I was doing pretty good at that time. I was thinking of them and wanted to spare their feelings. But because of the good people here, they told me I need to try before I just give up. I hadnt considered it as giving up, I thought of it as the easier route. Even with the complications I went thru, I survived. I may not look so good anymore but I am here which is the most important thing. There are worse things in life than having disabilities including being disfigured or unable to speak. Please dont your fear of living with a handicap choose your fate. Also never give up without trying!!!

Regarding your friends and their miracle cures, they are trying to be helpful. Most people do not understand how oral cancer works. Its different from other cancers with the terrible side effects and other complications that go along with it. When people see others being cured with unusual medical treatments they think those things are possible for everyone. Problem is, everyone is different and has their own set of issues which could rule them out as a candidate for these procedures. Especially the new treatments. This might not be for oral cancer at all. I urge you to use extreme caution when even considering anything that could be alternative. You dont want to attempt something like this and get so far only to find out you are out of time for a conventional treatment to be successful. Best advice is to get to a major NCI cancer center where they are familiar with oral cancer.

Best wishes with your decision!