I'm not the patient but caregiver and the fear can be just as overwhelming. It breaks my heart and saddens me to the core when I think about the beautiful, amazing, strong people who have lost their battle with this beast. I usually go to Zumba on Monday nights but I just couldn't last night. I felt so sad and scared that my husband could be the next one with a recurrance. I try to think about all the amazing, strong SURVIVORS on these message boards but when you hear the devastating news that we shared yesterday it just sucks the breath right out of you.

I can't begin to know how it feels to be the patient worrying abouot a recurrance but it is just as scarey to be the caregiver and feel totally helpless at times.

Today is a dark, dreary day in Pennsylvania and it definitely reflects the way I feel today. All we can do is keep fighting the good fight. Hugs.

Wanda (47) caregiver to husband John (56) age at diag.(2009)
1-13-09 diagnosed Stage IV BOT SCC (HPV+)
2-12-09 PEG placed, 7-6-09 removed
Cisplatin 7 weeks, 7 weeks (35) IMRT
4-15-09 - treatment completed
8-09,12-09-CT Scans clear, 4-10,6-11-PET Scans clear
4-2013 - HBO (30 dives) tooth extraction
10-2019 - tooth extraction, HBO (10 dives)
11-2019 - Left lateral tongue SCC - Stage 2