Those people who believe "they can't cope" when exposed to physical suffering, may just be a little too immature to put aside their own comforts to spend a little time to attend to another's time of need. A friend of mine died last year and I treasure the daily visits I made to her hospital beds over a period of a couple of months (She was in three different hospitals). When it became obvious she would not be around much longer, I was so glad I had had the time with her to let her know how loved she was and how important she was to her family and friends. Rather than wait for someone to give suggestions for the things needed and appreciated, as a visitor, you could offer your own list of observations and ask if you can do them. For example, getting water, a snack, a book to read, game, doing laundry, playing scrabble, cleaning the reading glasses, etc. When my friend noticed I was knitting a scarf she admired it and mentioned her grand-daughter loved scarves - so I made her one so she could give it to her grand daughter. Sometimes, all she did was sleep while I was there and it comforted me just to know I was there in case she woke up and needed something. When she passed, the pain of losing a dear friend was soothed a little by the memories and tears and laughter we shared in those simple moments at the hospital. Life is short. Too short to even waste a moment that could be spent comforting a friend or relative. If you put it off, it may be too late. Do it now. Go give somebody a hug.