Thanks Karen, for your comments. I'm sure we're not the only ones struggling with these particular issues. It's horrifying to think that your husband engaged in such destructive behaviour at such a crucial time. Why can't they see that looking after themselves is also a way of taking control? I just don't get it.

I'm trying to back off from nagging Gordon about his weight, food intake, sleep etc. It means I have to bite my tongue a lot, and it's getting pretty chewed up. At a certain point, if the lack of self-care continues, what do you do? Just stand by and let them go down the drain?

Gordon's Internet overuse is not uncommon (there's lots of talk about Internet addiction these days), but it does interfere with him getting enough sleep and then trying to get through the next day's work. More tongue-biting, I guess. Anne