How do you help someone who won't help themselves? - 12-29-2010 09:23 PM
How do you help someone who won't help themselves? Gordon skips meals occasionally, doesn't really eat enough and gives little thought to his nutritional needs. He's now back to work full-time and just sits up late on the Internet, getting 5 or maybe 6 hrs. of sleep a night. He doesn't read anything about oral cancer, or what's happened to him, and never has. He complains about his blood sugar, which is shooting up again (he's prediabetic), but keeps eating the cereal that's contributing to the problem. He says oatmal makes him gag, even though he hasn�t tried it for months. He says that eating is just a hideous chore, yet he's definitely eating better and appears to be almost enjoying some things from time to time.
I nag, plead, yell, cry and all that useless stuff. Doesn't make much difference and just gets me really upset. Yes, I've read "Co-dependence No More" and see myself on every page. My view is that we both have to be working on his health, not just me. What do you do? Back off and let him wait for the consequences, which of course will mean more caregiving for me? Deliver an ultimatum (start looking after yourself or I'm outta here) and be prepared to stick to it this time?
Yes, he is depressed, and is on Prozac and Mirtazipine. Of course now he's trying to chuck these meds. because he doesn't like being artificially propped up. I've urged him to speak to his Dr. before going off them, which at least he is going to do. I know how hard it is to cope with the eating issues, having observed it all at close range for nine months now, and I can't say I'd be able to do any better if it were me.
I'm angry at him almost every second day, feel depressed myself and seem to be not so good at the "detachment" part of changing my codependent behaviour. I'm kind of at a loss�.
Anne
I nag, plead, yell, cry and all that useless stuff. Doesn't make much difference and just gets me really upset. Yes, I've read "Co-dependence No More" and see myself on every page. My view is that we both have to be working on his health, not just me. What do you do? Back off and let him wait for the consequences, which of course will mean more caregiving for me? Deliver an ultimatum (start looking after yourself or I'm outta here) and be prepared to stick to it this time?
Yes, he is depressed, and is on Prozac and Mirtazipine. Of course now he's trying to chuck these meds. because he doesn't like being artificially propped up. I've urged him to speak to his Dr. before going off them, which at least he is going to do. I know how hard it is to cope with the eating issues, having observed it all at close range for nine months now, and I can't say I'd be able to do any better if it were me.
I'm angry at him almost every second day, feel depressed myself and seem to be not so good at the "detachment" part of changing my codependent behaviour. I'm kind of at a loss�.
Anne