Hi Deb

don't forget that men retreat to their caves when trying to cope whilst women want to talk. Just keep telling yourself that it is just his way of coping and try not to take it too personally (easier said than done, I know - I failed miserably at times).

Don't know if this is peculiar to Alex and I but the other thing that brought out Mr Hyde was cuddling. Suddenly, I was brushed off. I discovered rather belatedly, that Alex thought that he was the cuddler and I was the cuddlee. I never knew that cuddling invoked the need to protect in him, so when he was sick and barely able to look out for himself, cuddling (protecting me) became too much of a burden. Consequently, my attempt to reassure him with cuddles was misinterpreted. This inadvertently highlighted to Alex that he was unable to do his job which in turn created resentment towards me and out came Mr Hyde with a hurtful and critical comment. This was all done by ESP so I had no idea of what was going on and thought I had done something wrong (one of those really annoying "girl" things we do). When I finally twigged, I was able to stop taking it personally and changed my style to quick touches and pats.

I was lucky to have a couple of people at work who would listen to me and then Gabe (my primary listener at work) put me onto this website and I have been ranting ever since.

You might be pleased to know that even though Alex is still very underweight, and quite sick, his demeanour is back to normal (as are our cuddles) and Mr Hyde only makes an appearance when I am driving. If he keeps going, Mrs Hyde is going to drop him off on the side of the road one day...