Wendy

I am not going to repeat all the good advice you have already gotten except to stress that surgery should NOT be your first option in treating BOT. It doesn't get any worse than Stage IV with lymph node involvement like I had, but my ENT who is a surgeon stressed that the quality of life (QOL) issues merit trying radiation and chemotherapy first. DavidCPA and SandySt are living proof of just how great that can work out for you. I used to be part of that club, having avoided all surgery, even a PEG tube and no neck dissection. I had a wonderful year of remission before I had the drastic option of surgery become a mandatory requirement. Trust me, my recovery and QOL were both so much better with "just" radiation and chemo. Don't let your family or friends or even doctors rush you into a decision you may regret. The damage is done and a month or two is not going to make much difference at this point. Yes, even if you do need surgery, life goes on, just read EZJim's posts or the saga of Christine. On that point, be sure to insist that your biopsy be tested for HPV as that may give you hope since HPV positive BOT responds very well to radiation and chemo with few recurrences. Finally, I did share all the details with my son who was in his first year of college and he took it very well. Good luck
charm