What you are feeling is very normal. I got my diagnosis just 6 weeks ago and I still have a difficult time. I actually began counseling to help me cope and deal with it. I have not started chemo or rediation and do not know if that is the path we are going to take. We are waiting on a PET scan to find out idf the surgery got it all or not. Once we know that then we will mak our decision. It is okay to cry as this a horrible thing to have. You will be in my prayers.