Hello Amy,
I recall my mom having the same issue as you. She panicked so bad that she made herself physically ill. They did prescribe ativan 1mg for her to get through it. In the beginning she was so frightened. She tried to tell me about getting the set-ups done and I couldn't imagine what she was saying, the next day I went and spoke with the techs and they let me see the table and her getting snapped in. I felt my own panic start to rise but I had to remain strong for her. This whole diesase is just awful and the tx's are mind boggling. I wasn't sure how to keep my composure...actually at first I had tears in my eyes that I hadn't realized were there. My mom looked over and said she was ok and I told her the truth that while I trusted the team, what she had to go through broke my heart. I left the room where she was and they let me stay in the "tech room"....for lack of a better word. I watched her whole 15 minute tx. They did have music that they piped in for her, can't recall what it was but it seemed to ease her. She was so brave, and did it 30 more times after that day and then a few weeks after she had brachy therapy. In the beginnning she made it through her Erbitux tx's. She is an amazing woman, very strong. She later todl me it helped her to have someone see her in there and to know what she was facing. I know it helped me and we could talk about her fears and I could semi understand what she was saying. Maybe you have a CG who can go and see what it is all about? I'll be honest with you, it's not easy seeing someone you love snapped down to a table with a wicked halloween mask over the head adn shoulders. If it weren't for these treatments, I know for certain that my mom would not be with us today. She is extremely claustrophobic. No matter how cold she can get hs ecan't weara coat in the car because it is too cumbersome. She's a little lady so it isn't for lack of room.
I know you can do this, if you need to PM me and I will give you her phone number and she could tell you her experience and how she made it through. Honestly, I think she prayed a lot. You are not alone, there are many here at your OCF family holding your hand and your heart.
Donna