Amy,

I'm sorry. I thought you were starting today. I wouldn't expect you to sleep through tomorrow, but soon it won't seem like a big deal. It doesn't hurt or burn or anything like that while you're being "zapped". I spent the first 2 1/2 weeks wondering what the big deal was. "This is nothing."

Of course then the burning sensation started in my mouth, lips, and throat and - can't & wouldn't lie to you - it gets worse. But still the treatments themselves weren't a problem at all for me. Just the effects of them.

I won't tell you to be positive. (I kind of like my head right where it is, thank you very much. ) But I will tell you to hang in there and fight back hard against this horrible thing. When the effects of the radiation start to get bad, you'll be at a point where the end is in sight and you can count down what's left.

And remember that your husband does love you so he understands why you're not your sunny "lil ole self" right now. I'm sure, because he loves you, that he's also going through his own Hell because of this. Most men feel that their job is to "fix" everything for their loved ones. Well, he can't fix this, and that truth was very hard for my husband to deal with.

I went to Home Depot yeterday and bought some beautiful autumn-colored flowers to dress up my walkway for the season, so I'm off to do one of my favorite things - plant and fuss in the dirt. But I'll keep checking the site from time to time today, so if you want to "talk", I'll be here.

Lani