rita

Time for your husband to quit his pity party and start acting like a man again. Get your son in law doctor to talk to him, man to man. See if you get his sorry ass off the couch and onto a chair in front of the computer so he can join this forum. We have all been where he is, and it's easy to justify to oneself. The one comforting thing I can tell you is that your husband does not have a clue as to what a shithead he has become and probably truly believes he is acting okay. I was so critical and caustic sometimes that my caregiver wife had to go downstairs to have our rabbit lick away her tears. Let me tell you, that woke me up. Quit babying him and if he acts hurtful, cry in front of him. Or point out what hurtful action he has done. Too bad atlanta is so far or else I'd drive down and put my foot up his self absorbed ass. Enough is enough. This happens all the time with guys who get oral cancer- so much so that it's considered normal. But the sooner he starts focusing on WHY he wants to live and stops asking WHY ME, the better he will get. Time for some tough love in my opinion. I've been there and wish I hadn't.
My sympathy but don't become a martyr. Cancer is not an excuse to quit taking responsibility for one's actions. Finally, the man you knew and loved is still there, just hidden under this frightened little boy persona, lashing out at you when he is really mad at himself for becoming such a shadow of himself. It will get better.
charm