Wendy,
When my hubby was diagnosed, he had advanced SCC tonsils, and mets to neck-- very, very extensive.The CAT scan was unbelievable! They gave him a 50% chance of survival. Post rads and chemo, he had neck dissection to remove the rest of the cancer +++all the nodes. Head of h&n surgery did the procedure: he gave him an 85% chance at that point! Things changed radically at that point and the hope index went through MY roof. He was always positive through the whole thing, knowing that a positive attitude is sooo important. We never "talked" about any of this until post tx. He said he was scared; it was so unbelievable since it all happened so fast.

Just be there, do what you have got to do to help him (whatever he needs), and keep smiling. I never let him hear me talk to anyone about all this. I would email friends and family and talk on the phone outside. I pushed him to get nutrition in his PEG tube and encouraged him to swallow (ever so gently) because I was told to by the Team of Dr.'s.(the throat forgets how to do this if they don't keep it up.) I encouraged him to do his jaw stretching exercises.

We met this man at his last appt. who had very similar condiditon as your man. He was two years past tx. Had his jaw replaced and teeth removed and false teeth and part of his tongue removed, too. He looked and sounded WONDERFUL!!! And he was...he said that it all gets better with time. Time is the key. Hang in there and in no time, it will be time to heal.

I am here if you ever need help...we all are.

Love to you......